This weekend, baby girl and I set off on an airplane to sunny Devon to visit my sister. I couldn’t face the 5 hour journey so a flight from Manchester seemed ideal. It also seemed like a good idea to do a trial run before a longer flight to Spain in a few weeks- who’d have thought I’d travelled to Hong Kong when she was 7 months old?! God it’s easier when they don’t walk and talk! It was- we were there in no time, baby girl didn’t kick off about being in the car seat and we arrived without me feeling stressed or knackered. What a glorious weekend to choose! The sun was out and my folks were there too as it was my Mum’s birthday and baby girl was the little adorable firecracker she can be rather than the temper tantrum beast she has occasionally become in recent weeks. I have been having another bout of sleep issues recently and spoke to the Health Visitor at length about a new age appropriate sleep training routine as seemingly letting her cry no longer works just causes more anxiety. Yet, weirdly, I have had the best sleep this weekend. Baby girl has been staying up late but we have also been tiring her out with sea air. Perhaps also because we slept in the same room baby girl was comforted and slept through like a dream. It was a mini break because I slept and because we did wonderful holiday things like a boat ride and the beach. It was also a mini break from the old routine and the calm before the storm before hardcore sleep training begins. I now feel warmed by the sun, refreshed and ready for some bumpy nights.
Where do I start, my darling girl? It’s been a while since I have written about your wonder and charm. I can’t believe how clever you are. This morning, your Daddy came round to collect you and I told him you could count to 10. He didn’t believe us because you were so sheepish. But I got out the ‘Hello Kitty’ counting book we got out from the library the other day and we started to count. You mouthed the words at first and as you were sat on your Daddy’s knee he couldn’t see your mouth move and didn’t believe you could do it. As we turned the pages, your confidence grew and sure enough, by page 9 and 10 you pointed and counted in order without your Mummy’s help. Daddy simply cried “WOW!”. Wow indeed, clever girl! I’m sure it is our love of playing hide and seek where I count to 10 and counting every step we go down that has helped you to learn.
You’re not just clever but funny too. You know your colours as well now and a funny joke you and me have together is when I ask you what colour my hair is. Everytime you answer differently and giggle away- this morning it was “pink!’. last weekend your Aunty Becky came to visit and she would pretend to sniff you like a doggy – you loved it! Since then, you like me to do it and you cry “again!”. I’ve added to our game an impersonation of a cat too and you ride my back like I’m a horsey! We also love singing and dancing together – you know all the words to “Twinkle Twinkle” and “Wind the Bobbin Up”. What fun we have in our new home!
You also love cooking and always want to “look look” when I make something and I let you help me with simple tasks. Your newest biggest word is “Cinnamon” which you pat from the pot onto your porridge. Will you be a chef? Over the last few weeks we have baked cup-cakes, made homemade pizza and Rice Krispie cakes. I let you rummage in my box of baking ingredients and you pretend you are cooking- you are so creative!
I can’t wait until you can talk properly in proper sentences – you are so nearly there but I am a little worried about how bossy you might be! I’m also a very relieved Mummy that you no longer hate the car seat and are sleeping properly again in your bed. What battles we have had there. But just remember: Mummy loves you and knows best!
You are the love of my love, beautiful girl.
I’m back. In more ways than one. It’s been a rollercoaster getting here but I’m me. I’m different in many ways and I’m enjoying discovering who ‘me’ is these days. I stopped blogging when I went back to work last year. I blamed juggling my very demanding job and a baby single handedly. I also felt that I no longer needed the therapetic nature of blogging. It served a purpose at a time when my head and emotions were all over the place and it helped me rationalise the craziness of my unexpected single parenthood. My stopping also co-incided with my embarking on a new relationship. He was Mr Rebound and now a thing of the past and also served a purpose. He was also time consuming and made me happy at the time so blogging faded into a thing of the past……But during my sabatical I also got into some bad habits…. too numerous to mention: eating and drinking too much, feeling guilty so faddy dieting and becoming a bit obsessed with dating ridiculous people through a well known dating website and gotten slack with my daughter’s sleeping habits. But the worst bad habit was giving up writing. Okay, so I dont need to spew out my emotions about my divorce and single parenthood but I do need to chronicle my daughter’s wonder and delight: times which I will never get back and remember as clearly as when I read about them. Essentially, I’d become lazy and lost focus.
My sister came up to see me last weekend. She didnt have to say much. She’s my big sis. “Just stop” was sufficient enough. I listened. It was only last weekend so I it’s a very new leaf but I like my new habits of healthy eating, living and fitness. She busted my buns with ‘Shaun T’s T25’ Fitness DVD and it’s now part of my new and better habits. I’m also no longer focussing on a new relationship but focussing on the ones I’ve got and to write again. I’m enjoying it as I type and I think I’m alright at it!
I also remembered that I set myself goals when the ‘Bombshell’ of my now ex-husband’s affair hit and one was to write a children’s book as I discovered a passion for writing. Well, Im not so lazy that I haven’t written it. But I finsihed it ages ago. My daughter is obsessed with books so I’ve done enough research to know it’s good. What I’ve become lazy on is working on how to publish it. Obviously, it needs illustrations but I have a friend who is interested in that so it’s a start…….I just need to keep FOCUS.