It’s horrible. It’s like I’ve never been away from the place. Same place, same shit, different year. And the pace! It’s full on but at least the day goes quickly. I suppose I have been so busy on maternity leave with separation, house sale, move, single parenthood and this blogging malarkey that I’m at an advantage to other mums. I’m used to being busy. But God – not work busy. I’m going to have to work smarter rather than harder for sure.
And, I miss baby girl so much. I’m fortunate that in my profession it won’t be long until I have some time off again and I’m also fortunate enough that some of her relatives are kindly looking after her, who love her to bits. She is happy, positively glowing in this experience of being without Mummy. She even waved goodbye to me the other morning with a big smile on her lovely face. I, on the other hand hate it and feel like I’m missing out on so much of her development.
I suppose I should be grateful. At least I don’t have a clingy or grumpy baby who cries their eyes out whenever they are away from their mummy. Ironically my separation from my shitbag ex may be something to do with her resilient and independent nature as she is used to being without me when he has access to her. That and I hope my hard work and energy I put into her and a trip to Hong Kong.
Nevertheless, I hate the fact that I have so few hours with her a day. Thankfully, they are her best hours. First thing in the morning she is as fresh as a daisy and so playful and in the evening bath and book routine before bed is a delight. However, I am fortunate enough that from September I am going to work 4 days a week. I cannot wait. Especially if, as she gets older, she spends longer with her Dad at the weekend, I will want that extra special day with her all to myself. I love and miss you baby girl.
Oh, and in the meantime this week I have had a little distraction at work in the form of some major flirting via text with a guy on this online dating website. I’m going on a date tomorrow night with him. Watch this space……