Blind Date

Two weeks ago a friend asked me if I was ready to date again. I categorically said no. At the time I thought I had too much on with baby girl and going back to work and that no-one would want to date someone with a 7 month old baby anyway.

Then the sun came out. In England when the sun comes out, the beachwear comes out, people wear hardly any clothes and men who have and have not got muscles get their tops off, even when it’s only 17 degrees. I felt happy and there was some outdoor drinking (just the one of course) to be done. Suddenly, I got a spring in my step, started wearing fewer clothes myself and perving on the men with no tops on. One of my friends was talking about online dating whilst we were out in the sunshine and so I thought, ‘why the hell not?”

It didn’t take much encouraging, so that night I signed up to a well know online dating website. This was unknown territory for me – I hadn’t been on a date with someone other than my shit bag husband for 10 years. I already liked it because it was safe. All done from the comfort of my living room and they don’t get to see you blush or grimace. I also liked the fact that I can set my stall out straight away. I’m a mum. I’m separated. You either mind or you don’t. Simple. The only problem was finding a nice photo of me, without the shit bag ex next to me!

Within seconds of finishing my profile and submitting the payment I had 3 winks- a bit like a poke on Facebook. But I can’t help feel that the men are really wankers not winkers. What’s the point? Shit or get off the pot and drop me a flipping email!

Within minutes I got an email from a rather nice chap. I liked his straightforwardness. He just emailed ‘You’re cute”. He is right of course, I am, so I checked his profile and all seemed promising. He has his own business, own teeth, own hair and like me is a parent so he is obviously not put off by me being one. Excellent.

So that very same night we emailed back and forth for a bit and then it dawned in me that I was knackered. It was way past my bedtime and baby girl is not the best sleeper so I’m bound to be up soon. It also dawned on me that I was already hooked. My self- esteem has rocketed and, just like Twitter I was connected to the world virtually. Oh dear me, I am a social media freak!

As the days went on I got more people emailing me. Some people either can’t read or are delusional. I had clearly stated the age bracket between 30-40 and 50 year olds were contacting me! I had also uploaded some really nice photos (granted they were pre baby but my figure is nearly the same) so some men with dodgy haircuts, mono-brows or a beer gut were clearly barking up the wrong tree. I just want someone who is nice looking, not a heavy set beef cake (I’m not a fan of a guy who’s a gym junky), has a good job, ambitious and values family. I also want someone who is literate, as you would not believe the crap that is written in the profile. I’m also a member of the grammar police and so not using your and you’re correctly is a no no! Now that might sound too fussy but I’m not delusional myself. I will not rule out divorced or if they have kids – afterall that’s me too. However, I will rule out a like for heavy metal music.

By the end of the week I am emailing a couple of nice chaps with one date lined up. My confidence, which has been shattered by my separation is coming back. I’m excited and nervous – it’s just coffee but its been 10 years since I’ve been on a date and I’ve never been on a blind one. I also wear glasses, which I won’t on a date so I’m a bit worried I wont spot him or recognize him from his photos and look like a right numpty. Oh well – the date is next week so I will let you all know how it goes. Now…what to wear?……

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