You were sucking your fingers the first time I saw you. Your outline was hazy but I could see your form lying in my womb. I had been waiting with anticipation to see you and to know you were safe inside of me.
For 9 months I carried you. Although I had not met you properly yet, I knew you and you were a part of me. Greatly longed for and already greatly loved. I sang to you in the shower. I felt your hiccups. I relished in your movements. The anticipation of knowing you became an increasing obsession, little did I know the overwhelming love of a new and unconditional kind, was about to be bestowed upon me.
“ She has my nose” were the first words I uttered when your tiny body was placed on my chest. Your Daddy cried. I was dumbstruck at the traumatic and beautiful way you entered the world. Your Daddy was the first to hold you properly and you mimicked him when he stuck his tongue out at you – what a clever girl at only 5 minutes old!
Every day you astonish me and you are now only 3 months old. I remember your first smile at 6 weeks. Now you have a cheeky and playful glint in your eye as you perfect that smile. I heard your first giggle yesterday. I was bouncing you up and down on a cushion to some dance music. I felt an urge to text your Daddy straight away to share it with him. Sharing these moments make them seem more real, more important somehow: they are milestones you will never remember and I don’t want to forget.
You still like to suck your fingers.